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'They say we're havin' another boom in Calgary.' 'Is that so?''
[Calgary Mayor Dave Bronconnier won't take the blame for the poor planning of the many road construction projects in Calgary, Alberta.]
[Canadians living outside Alberta support a federal carbon tax, but Albertans do not.]
Rift between urban and rural Alberta seems to be growing - news item...'Oh, and another thing, Mr. Lougheed is endorsing Jim Dinning!''
Ah, you have a passport...that'll make things easier!'
Deep in Ward 10...'No mail-in ballots and voter ID would take all the fun out of a civic election! For one thing you would only get to vote once!''
[Ralph Klein's cuts to health care affect ordinary Albertans who need it.]
Canada says that even their postal service beat us to the North Pole!' 'Ah! So now they begin with the insults!!'
'The way I see it, Ed, and correct me if I'm wrong, but you took a well-oiled machine and...' 'Please don't mention...oil.'' [The government of Alberta proposes a new energy royalty plan.]
Check it out! I've got nothin' to hide!'
Meanwhile at the offices of the Guinness Book of World Records...'Quite right. Quite right. Can you prove that you were tasered 8 times in one day and lived?'
Dear Mom, a TV crew was just here and guess what...I'm gonna be on the life styles of the rich and famous.'
PM [Prime Minister] promises changes to GST [goods and services tax].'
'Shocking! Ontario will receive equalization payments next year!' 'Shocking is right! Since when does Ontario believe in 'equal'?''
What the...! It's a typo! It's supposed to say 'pirates', not 'primates', for cryin' out loud!'
Three things that happen on a regular basis. 'Uh...Halloween...Christmas...Quebec Referendum...?''
Canada readies for Afghan pullout...'
Immigration Canada...'I hope you've read our brochure and are aware of the consequences of running amok?''
Meanwhile in Canada they had a civil war. No shots were fired, no one died, and not much was decided - how Canadian can you get?'
On the contrary, Mr. Gore, it's much more than a little 'gloom and doom fun.' Your quote here...bla bla bla...'oil sands,' bla bla...'threatens the future of human civilization.'�
Geez Howie, I think we're the last ones to leave Saskatchewan. Did we turn everything off, y'figger?'
[Lucien Bouchard thinks about becoming the next premier of Quebec.]
Jean Chretien you just won the referendum vote! Where do you go from here? I'm hoping for Disneyland.'
[Canadian Pacific Railway moves its head office from Montreal, Quebec to Calgary, Alberta.]
[British Columbia Premier Gordon Campbell is booted out by HST.]
Canada mourns Leslie Nielsen.'
Mind over matter.'
[Alberta drops eye exam coverage.]
Life in Alberta...'I'm new on the team...let me have a couple smacks at him!''
Rogue dog!'
A hunger to rebuild an image...'
'We're here to help!!' 'Great! Grab a broom.' 'Where are the Refugees?' 'They went home.''
What in hell did they think was the point of the whole thing?'
So by putting some away now we'll have some for later!!'
'Oh..ees bad news senor Thompson. You have been keeked out of the liberal caucus...by no less than jor prime minister!!' 'Well, there goes my day!''
Lady MacBeth enters...' [Nancy MacBeth, one-time challenger for the leadership of the Progressive Conservative Party of Alberta, decides to run for the leadership of the Alberta Liberal party.]
Hey landlord! There's a @#*!!! rat in my studio!'
[While Mother Nature uses her mobile phone, her baby son makes a thunderstorm.]
Iraq prepares for possible air strike...'Send the children into the streets!!''
'What could be more Canadian - East meets West and they beat the daylights out of each other!' 'Don't you have a macrame class or something to go to?''
Banff hopes to control town's elk pop. [population] with birth control darts...'It's okay - I'm on the dart.''
Kevorkian charged with murder...'You call this death row? Ha!! I'll tell you what deathrow is! Deathrow is a lonely stretch of road, a cheap motel room, some drugs[�] a suicide note! That's deathrow!'
Scratch Svend off my list.'
Census will ask sexual orientation details...'Okay...so what would you describe yourself as - male? Female? Sometimes male? Sometimes female? Undecided? Still thinking about it?...
The Outback...'I don't have anything against the Queen, you understand, but I've found that there are some things I can do without.''
News item - movement to raise alarm over genetically engineered food continues...'
Hey boy! Come and get it!!!' [Preston Manning, leader of the Reform Party of Canada, tries to unite the conservative right with his United Alternative initiative.]
The Queen of England! Why not? Who'd have ever thought I'd be Governor General?'
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