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Canada without Quebec...Quebec without Canada...At last we have something in common.'
[Snap federal by-elections catch the Liberal Party of Canada napping.]
[Calgary Mayor Dave Bronconnier won't take the blame for the poor planning of the many road construction projects in Calgary, Alberta.]
[Canadians living outside Alberta support a federal carbon tax, but Albertans do not.]
Rift between urban and rural Alberta seems to be growing - news item...'Oh, and another thing, Mr. Lougheed is endorsing Jim Dinning!''
Ed Stelmach says Alberta wants a chunckof [chunk of] the...uh...action. 'I had to bring up this nation within a nation thing!''
Stay tuned for Alberta's next premier...'If it ends in a tie will there be a shootout?' 'I hope not!''
[Calgary bylaw officers begin enforcing new smoking bylaw; Calgary has become smoke-free in most public places.]
Premier Ed offers private audiences for $5000...'So much for the 'country bumpkin' thing.' 'I remember when a meeting with a premier only cost a couple beers and a cigarette.''
Stephane Dion runnin' for a seat in Alberta...well, I'll tell ya, that'd be like the Custers planin' a family reunion at the Little Big Horn! Hawr! Snork!'
Caught smoking in public...'That's a lie! Calgary is so a fun place to live! Well, maybe not for filthy smokers like you!!'�
Doesn't say anything about poodles. I think we're good.' [Calgary seen as an unfriendly place.]
'Scuse me? What do you mean they're 'placebo patients'?' 'They're actually homeless people that sick people have hired to stand in line for them.''
'The pilot says we're over Alberta, sir. Should we flush the toilets again?' 'Fertilize them Corporal!''
'Geez...isn't it bad enough the city is dingin' me for another 15% to park downtown! You're as bad as the city!' 'Shut up! This is how I pay for my parking!!''
[Alberta Premier Ed Stelmach and Prime Minister Stephen Harper brush each other with green paint.]
Deep in Ward 10...'No mail-in ballots and voter ID would take all the fun out of a civic election! For one thing you would only get to vote once!''
Curbside recycling - everyone seems to have an opinion...'
'I love the irony...cigarettes and flight insurance!' 'Yeah, I know, it's sudden death that scares the hell out of me!''
[Ralph Klein's cuts to health care affect ordinary Albertans who need it.]
Hi, I'm with the Green Party. Have you got a few minutes for me to heap guilt on you?'
One of the things that comes with being stinking rich is that you become paranoid about not being stinking rich. So we're not sharing!!'
Canada says that even their postal service beat us to the North Pole!' 'Ah! So now they begin with the insults!!'
Party members accuse Manning of favoritism - News item.'
Visionaries...'I see a train coming, the LRT...reaching Calgary's westside!' 'I see elections coming!''
Iran stands on its human rights record...'
'We hope people will come to realize that we have to protect the young salmon.' - Prime Minister Chretien.'
The spin...'Seems a little...harsh!'' [The government of Alberta proposes a new energy royalty plan.]
According to...survey 7% of Albertans want a snap election, 12% don't want an election, 26% want public floggings of annoying politicians, and 55% threatened violence if they're ever surveyed again...
Apparently, Monsieur Klein is ignorant of Quebec's historic position in confederation!'
'The way I see it, Ed, and correct me if I'm wrong, but you took a well-oiled machine and...' 'Please don't mention...oil.'' [The government of Alberta proposes a new energy royalty plan.]
Check it out! I've got nothin' to hide!'
Grey Eagle Casino...'Smoke?' 'Thanks. Don't mind if I do.'' [Tsuut'ina casino opens in Calgary, Alberta, but is not subject to the new smoking bylaw.]
'We want to be stinkin' rich oil barons like Alberta, but we don't want to give up the handouts! What's wrong with that?' 'Nothin' I can see.''
[Ottawa wants a share of Alberta's oil revenues.]
The right side of the brain...'I claim this grey matter in the name of...' 'not so fast, pencil neck!''
Farewell Stephane! It's been a slice!' [Liberal Member of Parliament Belinda Stronach announces that she will not seek re-election.]
PM [Prime Minister] promises changes to GST [goods and services tax].'
Heritage Fund not properly managed - Panel...assets exposed.'
Less emissions! More transfer payments!'
Raul, do you hear me? It is time for you to take over.'
There is bitterness and distrust in our country. Our country is in upheaval, and may even come apart. But you know what? We're not killin' each other and that is what makes our country great.'
[China, the Summer Olympic games host, criticized for the continued violation of Tibetans' human rights under its forced occupation of Tibet.]
We have our own NRA here, Mr. Heston. No rifles allowed. No revolvers allowed.'
It's the ducks...they're demanding a memorial.' [Ducks die after landing on a Syncrude tailings pond.]
Ain't no point to it...y'ask me the whole idea of an election is misleadin'...big waste of time[�]
'I didn't look...dare I ask what he's trying to sell?' 'Dirty oil.''
Remember that great scene from Indiana Jones?' [Don't bring a knife to a gun fight.]
Old ships and a shortage of sailors plague Canadian Navy...news item.'
A fella we all know as Dave, wanted to be mayor, not slave, but his town grew really big and it ate like a pig, such was the fate of our mayor turned beggar named Dave.'
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